Going Back To Work After Maternity

Returning to work after having a four-month maternity leave never gets easier.  The first time I did it I cried every day for weeks.  It felt strange and unfamiliar even though it was a place I spent 40 plus hours a week in only a few short months back.  After having my second child I thought maybe it would be easier because I had done it once before.  Now with my third, I thought this won’t be too bad, too easy.  Well, it’s absolutely NOT.  The pain is still the same, It’s a feeling that’s hard to describe to people who haven’t experienced it.  You feel torn between too many things.  Part of you feels resistant and doesn’t want to go back to work at all, you are worried that no one can care for your child as you do, you are worried about money, am I making the right decision, I want a career, I don’t want a career, what does God want for me, I need to be independent and successful, can I really do it all, will I still be a good mom if I’m away 50 hours a week.  My head spins on the floor behind me, my heart feels heavy, and I feel like vomiting. 

They say maternity leaves don’t set you back and that they don’t affect your career.  In my experience they do.  It’s the unfortunate thing about being a working mom who wants to climb the ladder.  You haven’t been in the game, you have been out of sight out of mind.  Things at work kept moving and you are now behind.  I hate the first month of catch up.  There are 5 things I learned that will help every woman returning from maternity leave

1. Grace: You must give yourself grace and time. The first month is a crazy ride so jump on board and hold on tight.  I promise you once you have made it through the first month everything will more peaceful and clearer.  You will slowly begin to understand and believe that you truly can do it all.  That is so powerful.  I honestly feel like a superwoman.  It’s extremely empowering and will drive you to do more.  Ride that high girl!
2. Power of my mind: If you feed your mind with negativity you will be unhappy. You are the controller of your thoughts if you tell yourself there isn’t enough time there will never be enough time. 
3. Communication: a two-way dialogue between my husband and I is crucial. The 80-20 rule is something we use daily.  If I am at 20% for the day, he needs to help set up and close the gap.  If we both are at 20%, we just try to give each other a pass and try to be nice to each other. 
4. Honesty: I needed to be honest with myself and those around me. My life was different than before, I needed to set boundaries.  I could no longer do happy hour after the work meet or work long hours. Certain meeting times didn’t work with childcare.  I also had to excuse myself to go pump, didn’t matter how important the meeting was.
5. Organization: find a system that works, paper or electronic you need a calendar. I am not only responsible for my own schedule but I’m responsible to coordinate schedules with work, hubby, nanny, and 3 kids!

I also want to share with you what I brought along so below is a list that I highly recommend being prepared with. 

• Mandela Breast pump (Most insurances will cover this) 
• Freemie Collection Cups
• Brown Convertible bottle tote w/ ice pack
• Cooluli Mini Fridge Electric Cooler and Warmer
• Waterproof reusable bag (instead of ZipLok bag)
• Extra batteries
• Wipes 
• Breastmilk storage bags

Returning back to work is like getting back from your honeymoon.  It can’t last forever and eventually, you have to face reality.  Just remember it gets easier!

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